Icy Passageways
by Patronus Prime
Summary: Updated! Dreams are just dreams, aren't they? Kirk has a reccuring dream of one of his best friends dying, so real, its just like being there. Every time he brushes it off as just a bad dream, it comes back to haunt him. No Slash. I beg R
1. Black Tunnel

Chapter 1: Black Tunnels

_It was always the iciness of the atmosphere that he noticed first… numbing, burning cold that choked his lungs of breath._

_Then it was long tunnel made of icy black stone. Patches of dim sunlight from long narrow chinks in the low ceiling illuminated the floor bleakly as freezing wind blew through the airshafts._

_As he peered up into the one directly above him, the outline of a large stocky white bird swooped over the opening, a _Takeh Candra_. Though he never seen that kind of bird before or even heard of it, he knew what it was. Wispy white clouds drifted lazily over the jagged patch icy pale blue sky. If it had been warmer, it might have been nice and peaceful to walk through the tunnel, but something more than cold made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle uncomfortably. He lowered his eyes to look back down the passageway again._

_A man in a blue Star Fleet uniform about two hundred feet away was walking down the tunnel. The man seemed absorbed with something in his hands as his boot heels echoed slightly as the sound waves bounced of the thick walls of stone. He followed the man, and was thinking about walking closer when suddenly the passageway in front exploded into fire. The man flew from the force of the blast in the now searing air with a scream and landed three inches from his feet. He immediately recognized the man; his gut lurched horribly and his blood ran cold. _

_Blood ran down McCoy's face were rock shards had virtually torn his left cheek into shreds. The rocks shards had shredded his blue shirt almost completely away and what was left of it was dark purple from gushing crimson. Deep wounds had slashed across his abdomen and chest, some deep enough to see the bare ribs before blood filled the gashes. Shards of stone had pierced through the skin and flesh like bullets and his right leg was lying at an awkward angle with the pants leg in tatters. The twisted, briefly melted tricorder still sat in the doctor's dislocated hand. He kneeled by Bones's head and with trembling fingers, checked for a pulse. His hand came away from his neck wet with blood. McCoy's eyelids fluttered weakly and he opened his eyes. The blue eyes were clouded with pain before they glazed over with shock._

_"Jim?" he said weakly before he coughed, blood trickling over the corners his lips. Kirk knew what this meant but he could not take it in._

_"I'm here, Bones," Kirk said, cradling his friend's head in his lap._

_"Tell…tell Spock…and the others…"_

_"You can tell them yourself after your treated and back working!" Kirk almost growled, more confidently than he felt. He shoved the uneasiness away roughly and reached for his communicator, "We're going to beam aboard."_

_McCoy reached up with his good hand and closed his weak fingers on Jim's right forearm. He shook his head. _

_"My daughter… Joanna," he coughed as blood clogged his windpipe_

_"You'll see her when you get back to Earth!"_

_"Tell her…tell her…I…"_

_He went limp with his last exhaled breath. His eyes faded to dull grey as all life left his body._

_"Bones!" _

Kirk sat bolt upright in his bed, wide-awake and shivering as if in cold. He tried to calm himself down. This is the third time this week he had this recurring dream, and every time it became more vivid, more as if he was watching a tape, no, more like actually being there physically. He could vividly feel the icy cold of the planet surface and the scorching heat of the explosion, even the details slight pain in the eardrums of the noise and the warm wetness of the blood.

He swallowed hard to calm himself before sitting up and pressing the communicating button next to his bed.

"Kirk to Doctor McCoy."

"McCoy here, Jim."

Bones's voice sent a wave of relief through him. His friend was alive.

"Switching to visual," Kirk said, pressing the switch.

McCoy was sitting behind his desk in his quarters, and by the look of the stack of colorful square tapes and the clipboard-like report log, he was filling out some forgotten paperwork. He could not have looked better in health, except he looked tired and bored.

"Yes, Jim?"

McCoy watched Kirk on the screen. Kirk looked very white and sweat had beaded on his forehead.

"Jim, are you alright?" McCoy said, suddenly worried.

"Yes, Bones, I'm alright. Kirk ou…"

"Just a minute, Jim," the doctor said, quirking an eyebrow. "This is the third time this week you called me in the middle of the night. What's the matter?"

"It was just a bad dream, Kirk out."

Before McCoy could say anything more, the captain switched off his end of the communication line. Raising his eyebrow higher still, he went back to his paperwork, which he found it more difficult to focus on.


	2. Icy Pain

Chapter 2: The Discussion

"Have either noticed anything strange with the captain?" McCoy asked Spock and Scotty in the turbo lift on the way up to the bridge that following morning.

"Strange, doctor?' asked Spock, lifting an eyebrow.

"Well, three times this week he had called me from his quarters in the middle of the night, and then he does not give the reason. But each time he looks like he just seen a ghost."

"Have you asked him why?" Spock asked.

"He said it was a bad dream last night," McCoy answered as the turbo lift started sideways. "Maybe I should give him a physical, to see if I can find what might be bothering him."

"Buttin' in I may be, doctor, but one of yer gruelin' physicals might worsen the problem." Scott stated truthfully as the lift started upwards again.

"No, no, I mean an emotional test," McCoy said, "You both had one before you were transferred here. If anything I think it's calming."

The turbo lift's doors slid open to the bridge. Scott and Spock went to their stations while the doctor went to stand next to Kirk in the captain's chair.

"Hello, Bones," Kirk said, not taking his eyes off the viewing screen. He could not bear look McCoy in the eyes; he remembered too clearly how those blue eyes turned to deathly gray. He had to stop a subconscious shiver.

"Jim, I need you to come down to sickbay," McCoy said quietly.

"Why, Bones?" Kirk asked, still avoiding the concerned doctor's eyes.

"Please, Jim, just come down."

"What you need me for?" Kirk said as they entered the sickbay, stifling a yawn. After the nightmare, he could not go back to sleep last night.

"I need to give you a physical," McCoy answered. He must have noticed that the young captain was avoiding his eyes, because he was trying hard to catch his eye.

"A physical? You gave me one last week!" Kirk exclaimed, fixing his stare on a point just above McCoy's shoulder.

"An emotional physical," McCoy corrected himself, peering at his friend's brown, gold-flecked gaze. "Jim, why won't you look at me?"

"What, I am," Kirk said, flicking his gaze onto the doctor's. Instead of the image that was imprinted on his retinas, the vivid memory took its place. Gushing blood, flesh sliced open to the bone, pain and those blue orbs, fading to their death.

Kirk shuddered violently, and snapped his eyes elsewhere. McCoy reached out his hand and touched the young captain's shoulder. Kirk flinched slightly, remembering the weak grasp he felt when McCoy had took hold of his forearm to stop him from getting his communicator.

"Jim…" he said, regarding him with his sympathetic eyes.

The intercom whistled on the wall.

"Captain Kirk to the bridge, please," requested Uhura's voice, "Captain Kirk to the bridge."

Keeping his eyes downcast, he moved his shoulder out from under McCoy hand, walked solemnly to the com, and pressed the white button.

"Acknowledged, lieutenant, I'll be right up."

As he left sickbay, he could feel McCoy's concerned gaze on his back. He tried to comfort himself with the thought that he was still around to fix a glare on him.


	3. Freezing

Kirk arrived on the bridge, running his tongue along the backs of his teeth, trying to forget what happened and focus on the issue at hand.

Uhura, holding her earpiece between her silver nails, glided her chair around, and briefed him about the subspace communication that just came in, and to his relief, her calm expression did not waver once. The last thing he wanted in the entire universe is for someone to ask how he was, or even wonder.

"Star Fleet issued new orders, sir, we are to set a new scientific mission over the study of the new comet. It seems that the Wentu system's star we passed earlier is already collapsing."

"Already? How is that possible?" Kirk responded, his explorer's intrest finnaly coming out on top of his twisting emotions.

Spock stood from his scanner and clicked on his science board, "It appears when we went to warp so close to the star, the stress on the already weaking space somewhat buckled it." Though Kirk was a captain, Spock felt no need to look at him directly to give him the information, which was something he never dared to do to any other captain, even Captain Christopher Pike. He never was so comfortable around anyone before. Unlike other Vulcans that he knew that served in Star Fleet, who have to always keep on their gaurd because someone prowling to make them show emotions, he can be himself around the captain, not to be so defensive. Captain Kirk accepted him as who he was, unlike his other friend, Doctor McCoy, who is ready to pounce on every insignifigant word he said. Of course there were a few instances where he pounced on him, but that was sufficent considering the latter.

Kirk was completely alright with it, being that Spock was his best friend, he let Bones...

His stomach dropped again, leaving only a cold hole. Could the dream be real? A preminition? He was the captain of The Enterprise, he knew from personal expirence that things once thought impossible. Hell, Jonathan Archer of the NX-01 Enterprise had a science officer keep denying time travel, even when Archer himself went traveled through time several instances.

_"But of course," _said his Vulcan voice he picked up from Spock. _"There was hard, cold proof then. There is still no proof that the ability to predict the future exists."_

His own logic voice argued back, _"Scotty had a feeling about the Enterprise's engines feeling 'wrong,' and it was because of that premintion that the Enterprise was not blown to bits and McCoy, Sulu and myself didn't have their cells blasted from the inside."_

Kirk gritted his teeth, hating when he did this. "_IT IS JUST A..."_

"...dream!"

The bridge crew simutaniously turned their heads toward him, looking at him politely puzzled.

"Sir?" Spock asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Nothing, Mister Spock," Kirk said uncomfortably and walked a little too quickly to his chair. "Set a course to the Wentu system, Mister Sulu, maxiumum warp. Drop to impulse when we come within three hundred kilometers. Uhura, send a acknowledgement to Star Fleet Command, then inform Astrometrics to prepare for the study."

Uhura and Sulu nodded and followed out his orders, as Kirk sat back in his chair, figuring it was a good time to try the meditation technique Spock had taught him. He sat back further in his chair and watched the hypnotic stars flying past. He found it harder than it looked to keep his mind clear, especially when such thoughts as, "I never thought I would ever be doing this," and "I wonder when the yeoman will be bringing coffee," kept floating across it. Eventually, he reached the zen-like state, only to be interupted by Uhura giving him the ship's status report.

_"Well, I found a new respect for Vulcans,_" Kirk grumbled in his head signing the report.

(I know, this isn't my best. Its been a year since I worked on it. I actually had the idea to scrap it if it wasnt for the last review. Don't worry, there is Still more!)


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